This blog post has been sparked by someone I know recently commenting that I have “gotten fatter” since I commenced work.
I am absolutely fed up with people thinking that it is okay to:
1. Comment on someone’s body shape
2. Use the words fat, skinny and other horrible variations of the words that I would not like to repeat. It’s fat shaming and it’s not on!
What I would love to know is what is the ideal? What do I have to look like to no receive negative comments about my body shape? Because at every different shape I have been I have received criticism.
A few examples I can give you is a few years ago when I went through a very stressful time and dropped a significant amount of weight, I was quizzed about having an eating disorder and was consistently told I looked too skinny.
I have also been told by a fellow dietitian that lately she has been receiving similar comments, it’s not good enough and it’s none of your business.
I then went on to recover from this traumatic event and gain a small healthy amount of weight. At this weight I then received comments that I had put on weight, or was looking a bit chubbier, or that I looked better at my “skinny” weight.
Lastly and just recently I saw someone who I had not seen for about 6 months, when they saw me the first thing they said what that I “look fuller in the face” and a bit fuller than last time they saw me (mind you I had not gained any weight over this period).
And then today, someone approaching me and saying out of the blue that I have gained weight, when in fact I have maintained my weight (and have been feeling fantastic.)
All of these comments ruined my day and delivered a blow to my self esteem.
As you may have seen from my previous posts I have recently been working on accepting my body shape as it is, listening to my hunger cues, exercising in ways that I enjoy. Through using the ‘Non-diet Approach’ I have become happier in my skin.
I am currently in a really good place with my appearance and feeling more comfortable in my body than I did a year ago, even though I may be exactly the same weight.
The point I want to reach from this post is that no-one has a right to comment on someone’s weight or appearance especially if it is negative.
You don’t know how high or low their self esteem is, if they have had image or body shape related problems in the past or if you are creating issues by saying these things.